Monday, August 30, 2010

A prayer for Cuatro......

I just got off of the phone with my vet.  As I said in previous posts one of my cats, Cuatro, has been very sick recently.  






He is a feral stray I took in back in March 2001.  At that time the vet guestimated that he was about 4-5 years old...which would now make him around 14 years old.  In 2007 he was "officially" diagnosed with FIV (feline HIV) but they think he's had it since before I had him.  The vet's have always been amazed at how healthy he's been.  That all ended 2 weeks ago.  All of a sudden he stopped eating.  And, as I've said before, he has always been a voracious eater!  So, for him to stop eating, there has to be something wrong!!  


I was encouraged when he started eating again.  Although he wouldn't eat the dry food--only wet food that I usually give my cats as a treat several times a week--I was happy that he was getting his appetite back and figured he would eventually start eating the dry food again.  Then he would stop eating again for a day and then start eating, etc.....this back and forth has been going on this whole time.  Trying to deal with this on top of starting my new job.....it's been a very stressful time.  


Yesterday seemed to be a good day.  He ate quite a bit and drank a lot of water.  It was my day off so I had all day to watch him to see what he does all day.  I even saw him eating some dry food out of his bowl!!  I had a feeling he had been eating some when I wasn't home these past few days as his bowl has been nearly empty, as compared to 2 weeks ago when it stayed full the whole week.  My other 2 cats have their own bowls and neither one of them are big eaters.  


The only bad thing I noticed yesterday was goop in one of his eyes.  He always has a little, but this just seemed more than usual.  I decided to watch it and if it continued I would take him to the vet.  Well, this morning I got up, did some housework and then ran some errands before I had to go to work tonight.  When I got home I couldn't find Cuatro in any of his usual sleeping places.  I found him in my back bathroom laying on the floor.  I have one of their litterboxes in that room and they only go in there to use the box.  So this was very very unusual.  When I called his name he looked up at me. There was goop around his eye and he just looked terrible.  

I broke down crying and I realized that this may be it.  It was the same look my other cat, Maddie, had back in 2008 when it was her time to go.  I was completely devastated but knew I had to do what was best for HER, not me.  I had to go to work (as usual) so my parents took her to the vet for me and called me to let me know that I had to make a decision.  My boss let me leave early and I rushed to the vet to say goodbye to her.   I don't have children, so they are my babies.  Letting Maddie go was devastating to me and I haven't totally gotten over it.  I had her since she was 5 weeks old and she was 12 years old when she died.  Even though I've been through this within the last 2 years, it doesn't get any easier. 


So anyway, I called my parents and the vet this afternoon and Cuatro has an appt in an hour.  Since I have to go to work(this is a new job so no, I won't be asking for time off) my parents are stopping by to pick Cuatro up and take him to the vet.  I've been crying since I found him and I need to buck up and not look sad since I'll be facing the public and will be expected to smile and be happy during my shift.  Some major acting will be happening tonight, let me assure you!! 


I am hoping that it isn't the end, but I am realistic and will be prepared for whatever happens.  I'm hoping that if it is time for him to go, I will at least get to see him one more time.  Unfortunately, I work until closing tonight and then have to be back first thing in the morning.  So, that means holding off until tomorrow late afternoon once my shift ends.  


I don't ask people for things for myself.  But, please say a prayer for my kitty.  I'm going to go spend some time with him before my parents come to pick him up.  Thank you......



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